Androux – Book 1 – Volume 12

Derkle: “You’re in? Androux, what can you see? Over.”

ATOW: “I’m not sure, it’s pretty dark in here. Give me a moment. Over.”

RickandMortyFan69: “Errr, you do realise you have night vision you know?”

Androux: “Night vision? Since when?”

RickandMortyFan69: “Oh the creature from the ether told me about it, it’s another side effect of being the main character.”

Androux: “How convenient.”

With his very convenient night vision now switched on, Androux the off-white surveyed the interior of The King’s fighting robot.

Androux: “Incredible.”

RickandMortyFan69: “I know, not even I have this much memorabilia from the Star Wars Prequels”.

Derkle: “Androux, can you tell me what you can see now? Over.”

ATOW: “It’s just…. Star Wars action figures, as far as the eye can see. Jar-Jar Binks, Boss Nass, Watto, there all here. Over.”

Derkle: “But why? Over.”

ATOW: “I’m not sure, over.”

RickAndMortyFan69: “Well DUH, the Star Wars Prequels are OBJECTIVELY the greatest films ever made, who wouldn’t want to dedicate a shine to their divine brilliance?”

Androux: “Err, you have actually seen the Star Wars Prequels recently, haven’t you?”

RickAndMortyFan69: “Hahaha! Of course not! Only losers actually watch films. We chads just read what people say about them online and copy the most popular opinion, then demonise anyone with an opposing view to it!”

Androux: “Thought so.”

Derkle: “Androux, can you see The King at all? Over.”

ATOW: “Negative Derkle, I can barely see anything past all these Padme Amidala body pillows. Over”

RickAndMortyFan69: “Hey, I think that one is mine”.

ATOW: “Wait, I think I can see a door, I’m going in for a closer look, over.”

Derkle: “Can you open it? Over.”

ATOW: “Negative, it looks like it needs some kind of oddly shaped key, over.”

Derkle: “Any idea what it could be? Over.”

ATOW: “Negative Derkle, I’ll see if I can find another way through, over.”

RickAndMortyFan69: “Wait Androux, I think I know what the key could be! You see that action figure over there?”

Androux: “You mean the Jar-Jar Binks one?”

RickandMortyFan69: “Yes, that one. Try and put that in the keyhole”.

Androux: “Ok, are you sure about this?”

RickANdMortyFan69: “Just trust me on this one, it’ll work.”

Androux the off-white inserted the Jar-Jar Binks action figure into the keyhole and to his surprise, the door slid open.

Androux: “It worked! But how did you know?”

RickAndMortyFan69: “It’s just like my father once told me: Jar-Jar is the key to all this.”

Androux the Off-White stepped through the door into a dimly lit control room. The King was hunched over the controls, looking in decidedly poor shape following the near death beating he suffered at the hands of Derkle. Androux the Off-White quietly stepped forward on the wooden floor of the room, but a creaky floorboard gave away his presence to The King.

The King: “Whaa… how did you get back here?”

ATOW: “I used the Key.”

The King: “How could you have possibly known what the key was? Only I could know that… well, me or…”

The King was cut off by a sudden bright white light emanating from Androux the Off-White. Once the blinding light faded, it was revealed that Androux the Off-White had separated into his component parts – Androux and RickAndMortyFan69.

The King: “My own son, my boy, how could you betray me like this?”

RM69: “How could you leave me in that Jupitonian prison cell?”

The King: “That was for your own good, you needed some character building experiences so you could be less of a pussy.”

Androux: “RickAndMortyFan69 never mind that now, we have a job to do!”

RM69: “Shut up Androux! I only needed you to get close to my father, now stay out of it!”

Androux: “What are you going to do?”

RM69: “This loser is a threat to my YouTube channel, for that he deserves to die. I’m here to see to it that it happens.”

Androux: “We don’t need to kill him; we can just imprison him!”

RM69: “NO! He needs to know that I’m the master now, and he only gets that by me finishing him!”

Androux: “If you try to kill him, I’ll stop you… wha? Where’s my spoon?”

RM69: “Hahahahahaha…. If you don’t want your spoon taken you shouldn’t have made it so accessible while we were fused!”

RickAndMortyFan69 pulled out Androux’s electro-extendo spoon and advanced on The King.

The King: “You won’t do it, you’re a pussy now and that’s what you’ll always be… in fact… I dare you; I double dare you! Do it! Kill me! Kill me NOW! I know you won’t.”

RickAndMortyFan69 stood poised over The King, ready to take a swing at his neck but he was hesitant.

Androux: “RickAndMortyFan stop this! Think of the consequences; if you do this the internet police will never let you rest, you’ll always be hunted! Is that what you want?”

RickAndMortyFan69 stared at Androux, his face slowly broke into a maniacal grin.

RM69: “Oh but Androux, I have a plan for that. They won’t be after me, they’ll be after you! Here’s the thing about being the main character Androux, for your story to continue into a sequel there has to be conflict. Your hell isn’t coming to an end… it’s only just begun!”

RickAndMortyFan69 didn’t even look at his father as he took the swing. He kept his eyes fixated on Androux. The spoon cut through The King’s neck like butter; his head toppled to the ground with a dull thud, his body keeling over shortly after. The King was dead. Androux could do nothing but stare back at RickAndMortyFan69 in shock.

RM69: “You’re not the only one that’s temporarily been given powers from the Ether Androux – I’ve been given the power of teleportation! Nobody saw me enter, nobody will see me leave. As far as anyone is concerned you were the only one here. Goodbye and good luck Androux.”

RickAndMortyFan69 dematerialised leaving Androux alone with the body of The King. Shortly thereafter, footsteps could be heard fast approaching.

Guard: “Hey bawwwsss, I think we’ve been infiltrated! Bawss? Hey, Bawss? Can you hear me?”

The Guard entered the room. Upon entering he could see three distinct things, The Kings Lifeless corpse, the electro extend spoon lying next to it, and Androux kneeling in the corner with a look of shock on his face. It would appear that Androux was in for a rough sequel.

The End.

Bonus Volume

Androux fell asleep with an end. It was just a good nightmare, but it felt so fake and he was calmed by it. He sat down and sprinted away from his bathroom, which wasn’t an en suite and he wiped some poo water from his face deliberately. Fortunately, due to the deafness in his right eye, he got the correct water and removed the urine faeces from his face deliberately. Slowly, he applied more on with bamboo soap and went about his evening with a very clear idea of what was in store for him.

Androux decided not to have brunch and got ready to stay at home. He went to his back window to close it. It was a disgusting window. He reached to close the window. He did not touch the window frame. “Holy shit, that isn’t a disgusting window” thought Androux, whilst licking the window frame to close it. The window quickly opened silently and Androux did not feel the hot evening air against his skin. He then decided to go out the window because he had put too many clothes on.

Book 1