The Yu-Gi-Oh! February 2023 banlist aftermath

As a member of generation Z, I’m used to constant disappointment. Because of this, I have incredibly low standards for myself, everyone around me and the human race as a whole, just so I can be surprised when things don’t turn out to be complete shit. However, rare circumstances occur when humanity goes above and beyond the bare minimum of not completely sucking – actually appearing to be somewhat redeemable for a few moments, to the point where I forget that we’re on the brink of complete economic collapse and irreparable climate disasters. One such occasion: the new update to the Yu-Gi-Oh! forbidden and limited list.

And here I was thinking that Konami would only give Tearlaments a little slap on the wrists, maybe making Kitkallos sit on the naughty step for a little while to think about what she’s done. But no, it turns out that the TCG were willing to throw half the contents of Power of the Elements into a fucking woodchipper. And good on them; after watching my opponent trigger a Kelbek they milled off a Havnis in response to me normal summoning Live Twin Lil-La, I have to ask myself: did anyone at Konami actually playtest Tearlaments for any extended period of time? Surely at least one person must’ve actually read these cards before sending them off to the printing factory? Not that any of that matters now – none us will ever have to endure Kitkallos and Merrli milling 8 ever again. So, let’s examine the aftermath of this bloodbath, shall we?

BANNED CARDS:

Artifact Scythe:

When I first saw Artifact Scythe on the banlist, two thoughts cropped into my mind. The first: good, Artifact Scythe is now banned. It’s an incredibly toxic and unfun card that I’m glad I never have to endure again. The second: WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS BAN WHEN IT ACTUALLY FUCKING MATTERED!? This ban would’ve been perfect last January when everyone and their cat and their cat’s dog were performing Scythe locks, but who’s even trying to build a Scythe deck in a post Halqifibrax/Verte world where Bystials also exist? Ok, I’m that person; I’ve spent the last few months playing Evil Twin Spright, where Scythe is the main win-con. Yes, I’m a bad person, but look at it this way – since I was the only one on the planet playing Scythe before its ban, I like to think I’m the one that got it banned in the end. You’re welcome.

Barrier Statue of the Stormwinds:

Fuck this fucking piece of shit fucking card I never have to put up with this fucking bullshit card ever again suck my fucking dick Floowandereeze players.

Tearlaments Kitkallos:

How long was this thing legal for? Only about 6 months? Yeah, maybe Chaos Ruler, The Chaotic Magical Dragon on crack wasn’t the best idea for a card.

Spright Elf:

A surprising ban, but a completely understandable one. I’m certain Konami wanted to ban Toadally Awesome instead, but were too terrified of the ensuing tidal wave of tears from Paleofrog players devastating the Earth.

Elf has got to be one of the most deceptively powerful cards of all time, being a key part of the deck from POTE that everyone originally thought was going to be tier 0, as well as the deck that actually was tier 0. No more Toad loops, no more Merrli shenanigans, no more summoning Cyber Dragon Core back to rank up into a Zeus using Gigantic Spright. Ok, maybe it’s just me that cares about that last one.

LIMITED CARDS:

All of the Ishizu cards:

Konami be like, “we’ve had to limit all the Ishizu cards just a few months after release because they’re too strong”. My brother in Christ, you printed the fucking cards.

Tearlaments Havnis, Merrli and Schiren:

Good lord, I haven’t seen a slaughter-fest like this since January 2020. Obviously these hits needed to happen for the overall health of Yu-Gi-Oh!, but I didn’t think Konami had the balls to actually do it. Props, I guess. Suppose it’s time to welcome our new Kashtira overlords to the meta.

Ancient Fairy Dragon:

ABC players feelin’ good about this one. Perhaps it just about makes up for the two best ABC cards, Crystron Halqifibrax and Artifact Scythe, recently getting hung, drawn and quartered?

SEMI LIMITED CARDS:

You know, I think Konami just forgot that Recital Starling is still here. To be fair, I hate Tri-Lyrilusc too. I guess we just don’t talk about Pot of Desires though.

UNLIMITED CARDS:

A bunch of shit that got limited/banned because of Crystron Halqifrax:

Be free, my children.

Servant of Endymion:

Pendulum still sucks ass. Apparently, it also has the ability to make you think that Andrew Tate is a good dude. And people wonder why more women don’t play Yu-Gi-Oh!.

True King Lythosugma, The Disaster:

Lythothingy is a hateful, toxic card that has the ability to loop a bunch of cards out of your opponent’s extra deck before they’ve even had a single turn. With that said, Dinos suck so it’s probably fine for it to be back at 3. But just imagine though – if there was a deck in the meta that focused around looping cards from the extra deck, that would be horrible to play against, right? What would be even worse, is that if said deck also featured a walking Macro Cosmos and some stupid zone-locking mechanic. Good thing that’ll never come to fruition.

SPYRAL Resort:

So I was right about a SPYRAL card coming off of the list, just guessed the wrong one. Certain this deck is still Kentucky-fried ass without Master Plan though.

That’s everything! Whilst I look forward to playing against Kashtira the same way my testicles look forward to being a tasty snack for a ravenous honey badger, I’m pretty excited for the future of Yu-Gi-Oh, because there’s so many decks which were completely gatekept by Tearlaments and Spright that I get to play again. With that said, I have this crippling fear that Runick Stun will be the best deck this format, so re-join me again in a few months’ time, where I explain why banning Messanger of Peace is necessary.