My Yu-Gi-Oh! January 2022 banlist predictions

Banlist season is rolling around again and frankly, it can’t come soon enough, because we’re all sick of playing in this mostly garbage format. Quite a lot has changed since October, as this holiday season saw the birth of our lord and saviour, Destiny Hero – Destroy Phoenix Enforcer. Remember when everyone (myself included) wanted Tri-Brigade Revolt limited? Seems like such a long time ago.

Before we get into the meat of the article, I have some interesting trivia for you: did you know that the brain size of the humble Ragworm is the same as the width of a human hair? This would make it the smallest brain known to man, if it weren’t for Yu-Gi-Oh! players that think Predaplant Verte Anaconda, Red-Eyes Dark Dragoon or anything related to the Phoenix Enforcer engine is going to get banned in January. Speaking of which, why do people still want Dragoon banned? It’s had very little of an impact on the actual TCG metagame since its release in last year’s Mega-tin, and now no-one plays it because a better card came out that fulfils basically the same purpose. Fun fact Yu-Gi-Oh! players: just because your Dark Magician deck from 2004 can’t beat a certain card, doesn’t make said card banworthy. For example, my Cyberdark deck loses to a single copy of Ash Blossom and Joyous Spring, but does that make Ash banworthy? Fuck no!

Sorry, what was I supposed to be talking about again? Ah yes, my banlist predictions for January. Let us proceed:

BANNED CARDS:

Artifact Scythe

Isaac Newton’s 3^rd law of Yu-Gi-Oh!, dictates that every walking floodgate in the game will one day be abused in some degenerate strategy that everyone hates. Today, one of those cards is Artifact Scythe – a card which was always kind of annoying beforehand, but thanks to that new Destroy Penis Enforcer engine, it’s now an absolute menace. After the buster-lock experience of last year, do I need to explain why cards that easily lock your opponent out of the extra deck are a bad idea?

I’ve heard that the argument that Artifact Dagda should be banned instead of this, as that’s the card that cheats Scythe out in the first place. I disagree though, because what’s Dagda doing without Scythe? Setting Artifact Lancea to annoy Dinosaur players? Whether its Sycthe or Dagda gets the axe, all depends on how Desperate Konami are to sell the possible Scythe reprints in the upcoming Albaz structure deck.

Barrier Statue of the Stormwinds

I knew this card would eventually become a huge problem for the game and I was right; due to Konami’s unexplainable bird-fetish they’ve had going on throughout 2021, it’s become far too easy to cheat out Stormwinds for no reason. The main way to summon this Barrier Statue is with Simorgh – Bird of Sovereignty, a card which is low-key, one of the most horribly designed cards in the game. I did consider putting that card on here instead of Stormwinds, but I just don’t see Konami banning it anytime soon. Hey, I could be wrong though and I wouldn’t even complain about it. In fact, I’d be perfectly fine with Konami taking Simorgh out behind the outhouse with a double-barrelled shotgun.

Imperial Order

I am once again asking for Imperial Order to be banned. What else even needs to be said about this card? One excuse that crayon-munchers use to justify cards like Imperial Order is to “just run spell/trap removal lol”. That’s a brilliant idea! Too bad the majority of backrow removal cards ARE spell cards. Like, what do you want me to play to deal with Imperial Order? Fucking Dust Tornado?

LIMITED CARDS:

Lyrilusc – Recital Starling

Lyrilusc Tri-Brigade wins some kind of award for “most obnoxious deck of 2021”, which is certainly impressive, particularly when you consider that it has to compete with Virtual World feat. Very Fun Dragon. Whilst Tri-Lyrilusc is only the second-best deck in the format after Swordsoul, I can’t stress what a horrible, horrible idea this deck is for Yu-Gi-Oh!, being the equivalent of a small child with it’s “negate everything” forcefield. Hand traps don’t fucking work, floodgates don’t fucking work, board breakers don’t fucking work, nothing fucking works against this deck! Oh, and good luck trying to go first against Tri-Lyrilusc players post-siding, because they’ve already sided in every go-second blowout card ever printed.

I know this hit would pretty much solidify Swordsoul as the best deck of the format, but is that such a bad thing? As good as Swordsoul is, I don’t think it’s a particularly unfair or unhealthy deck for the game, with the obvious exception of Outer Entity Azathot 3.0.

Magical Metdown

IT’S BEEN 5 YEARS! 5 YEARS! STOP PLAYING INVOKED! PLEASE! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! MAKE IT STOP! ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL THIS EVER END!?

Eldlixir of the Scarlet Sanguine

Ok, this is probably a little biased, because I think Eldlich might be the most boring archetype ever printed, but aren’t you sick of it yet? If you’ve played online at some point in the last 2 years, you must’ve noticed that every other deck you encounter is some random shit with and Eldlich core thrown in. I mean, I once played against Eldlich Orichalchos – that’s just how low the bar as gotten. I know Eldlich isn’t exactly tier 0 right now, but may I remind you that this deck has outlived countless other strategies over the course of its lifetime, constantly dipping in and out of the format in some shape or form. It. Just. Won’t. Fucking. Die. Already. Come on, it’s a new year, it’s a new format; it’s time for Eldlich players to stop eating all the blue crayons.

SEMI LIMITED CARDS:

Servant of Endymion

During the last few banlists, Konami has been gradually been moving some old Pendulum cards off of the list. Keeping that in mind, Servant of Endymion going to 2 seems like the next logical step. I don’t know what this card does, because I’ve never read a single Pendulum card in my life, but I’m pretty sure Servant could go to 3 tomorrow and not be a huge deal. Servant probably didn’t even need to get limited in the first place, but Konami is still hell-bent on punishing Trif Gaming for jokingly stalling for time at a YCS back in 2018.

UNLIMITED CARDS:

Every currently semi-limited card apart from Destiny Hero – Malicious

Yep.

Salamangreat Miragestallio

I am once again asking for Stallio to go to 3. Can someone please tell me if there’s even a difference between 1 and 3 copies of this card already? Surely it just makes it slightly easier for Salads to end on a Nibiru token, right?

Red-Eyes Darkness Metal Dragon

Did Konami just forget they gave this card an errata? Hello? Anyone?

Well, that’s all for the predictions. Honestly, it’s kinda hard to predict what January holds, because it’s either going to be another nothing banlist akin to the last few we’ve had in the TCG, or an absolute murder-fest like in January 2020. All I can say for certain is that all the cards I like are going to get unbanned, and all the cards you like will be banned forever! Happy new ears!